Girl, Whatever!

Journal 10/2/25

Something that’s been circling my mind recently is this idea that there’s some deeper meaning behind every action people are taking around me. Of course, there are occasions where there’s some reason behind why someone is behaving the way that they are, but then that should be equally as true for the fact that sometimes people are just living their lives with no hidden agenda attached to how they’re doing it. I’ve come to the conclusion that this pattern of overthinking I’ve been doing is, at its core, really self-absorbed. The real worry behind this “deeper meaning” attached to how the people in my life are living is that they somehow secretly don’t like me. If they hang out without me, don’t tell me every detail about their day, if I’ve convinced myself they gave me a weird look, etc. Honestly that list goes on, and then I decide that something must be wrong between me and whoever. My brain takes those interactions and overanalyzes and twists them into this narrative that these people (friends and acquaintances) are trying to send me some sort of subliminal message that they don’t like me or don’t want to be around me. The best strategy I’ve come up with to combat this is trying to remind myself the world does not revolve around me. I don’t mean to say that I’ve ever blatantly felt like the world revolves around me, but when I remove myself just a little, and try and see things with an outside perspective, it’s clear that this idea that something as simple as friends hanging out without me must mean they no longer want to be my friend is a really selfish way of thinking. Is it actually that deep? No. Not even a little bit. The reality of a situation like this is that I’m the one who’s making it deeper than what it ever was. There’s no malicious intention behind anyone’s actions, and my insecurities aren’t an excuse to project a narrative like that onto other people. I’m trying my best to remind myself that this all does ultimately stem from my own insecurities and it’s never personal. I know that the people in my life love me for me, that they make me a better and more well-rounded person, and I should have some faith in the fact that I’ve chosen to surround myself with such good people. External validation is great; I have to believe that everybody feels that way to a degree, but it shouldn’t be what ultimately determines the level of self-confidence I have. My people also make the choice to have me around, and that should be all the validation that I need. I’m really working on making it that way, and I think that it’s something that will come easier with more time.